In Your courts oh Lord I sing
Praises to You, oh God, my King.
Blessings You grant me
Strength You bestow me
In Your great mercies, I hope and reside.

Oh Father God, to dwell with Thee
Doth hope restore, again to me.
To praise Thee ever
To with Thee abide.
Canst ne’er contain my joy divine.

Were I to speak of heaven’s glory
Or were I to His love convey
Could I but cease to praises give?
For Him in whom my hope doth lie?

And still I turn to Thee oh Father
Blessed by the Blessed, forever Yours.
I love Thee now, as do I ever.
And praises give
To You, my Guide.

Psalm 84:10-12: ”For a day in Your courts is better than a thousand.  I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
Than dwell in the tents of wickedness.  For the LORD God is a sun and shield;  The LORD will give grace and glory;  No good thing will He withhold  From those who walk uprightly.  O LORD of hosts,  Blessed is the man who trusts in You!”

Psalm 96:2 –”Sing to the LORD, bless His name;  Proclaim the good news of His salvation from day to day.”

Psalm 145:1-3–”I will extol You, my God, O King;  And I will bless Your name forever and ever.  Every day I will bless You,   And I will praise Your name forever and ever.   Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised;  And His greatness is unsearchable.” -

Jeremiah 17:7–”Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,  And whose hope is the LORD.” -

Ephesians 1:3–”Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ.”

 Psalm 31:3--”You are my rock and my fortress;  Therefore, for Your name’s sake,  Lead me and guide me.”-

Saying that, I have decided to post a few of my journal entries on here. I can’t promise that they will all be terribly insightful or achingly poignant, that’s frankly impossible to do every day…especially on those days when you don’t particularly feel like writing…:) I have however written a few things that I like so I want to share them with you. I’ve recently realized that I’m very shy about sharing my writings. I’m not always sure if others will like it. And so, hopefully these notes will help overcome that shyness. I realize that one can’t please everyone at the same time so I welcome criticism both good and bad! Please help me become a better writer and don’t be afraid to tell me if you don’t like something! I’m not sure who would want to read these so I haven’t tagged anyone yet…if no one does that’s perfectly fine, I’ll continue to post them …but if you want to read them just let me know and I’ll be sure to tag you! Ok…here’s one of my favorites so far…

This journal entry took me two days to complete. I wrote the first two lines sitting at a table in the cafe at barnes and noble waiting for a friend. Looking out the window I was taken aback at the most beautiful, colorful, and striking sunset that I had seen in a while. Here it is:

Reds and purples melt together
Reds and purples in the sky
Slowly watch the colors changing
Slowly watch the colors die
Melting into shades of ocher
Melting where the sun doth lie

Gaze upon the fading color
Gaze upon the slow goodbye
Hear the black night swift approaching
Hear the soft wind lullabye
Bid farewell to day’s bright flower
Bid hello to ebon sigh

Gone for now is day’s great treasure
Gone for now as night draws nigh
Listen to the swift transition
Listen to the color’s cry
As the sky is changed from heather
As the nightingale doth sigh

Blacks and purples melt together
Blacks and purples in the sky

~Sarah Stewart

” The heavens declare the glory of God;
And the firmament shows His handiwork.” ~Psalm 19:1

6/8/09 and 6/9/09
I wrote the previous entry on the band trip to D.C. It was likely a time of delirium on a bus ride of increasingly long duration. However, I feel that way quite often. Sometimes beauty arrests me and holds me captive in its strong grasp. I see it, reaching out its hands to me and pulling me in and I, unable to resist, succumb to its relentless pull. It happens quite often, this being enslaved by beauty. Haunting melodies, breath-taking landscapes, flowing words, warm summer days, and lilting harmonies all have the same effect. They all leave me breathless. I gaze on them or listen to them or feel them, and suddenly beauty appears, the haunting specter of my deepest desires.

She calls in her low smooth voice of the texture of molasses, inviting me to enter into her deep places, and I become entranced. Her piercing eyes appear to gaze into my very soul, and I become helpless. Her ivory hands reach out and grasp my wrists with such strength and power that pain spikes up my arms and yet, it becomes impossible for me not to revel in that painful bliss. I open my mouth, inviting her inside, and swallow against the sudden lump that forms. She settles in my stomach, a pulsating mass of light and warmth and, for a moment, I am content. Yet then, then she travels through my blood, a fiery vapor, until she, pulsating ever the stronger, makes contact with my own leaping heart. I cannot breath, I cannot think, I cannot even control my own body as her beauty beats a tattoo against my heart, swirling in and out among the melodies, creating minor keys and dissonances before finally, finally combining with my heart in a chord the strength and purity of which exists not among the finest orchestrations of man.

Such beauty, such power, creates, for lack of a better term, an ache within my heart. It longs to be, not simply harmonizing with that beauty, yet one with it. It longs to reach that note of perfection, yet finds soon that its physical limitations will not allow it. In fact, it cannot even sustain harmony with beauty for long. Soon my heart’s note wavers, soon the chord is broken, and soon beauty rushes from its newfound home in a fury of wind, leaving behind only the memory of what had been. My heart lies, within my body, shattered. The pain it feels after such an encounter with such indescribable beauty, is almost impossible to bear. Yet slowly, it begins to mend its brokenness, to create again wholeness from the shattered pieces; that is after all what hearts do. Finally, it is whole once again, yet scars trace the pattern of where beauty once rested, and I am never more the same. I feel such pain, such grief, that I can do little more than weep. For, I want, more than anything, to be that beauty. I want, not simply to look at it, hear it, or feel it; but to be transformed into it. And sometimes, the realization that such is impossible at this present time wrenches my heart. C.S. Lewis expresses my own feelings in his work, “The Weight of Glory”. he makes the reflection that, “We want so much more – something the books on aesthetics take little notice of.

But the poets and mythologies know all about it. We do not merely want to see beauty, though, God knows, even that is bounty enough. We want something else which can hardly be put into words – to be united with the beauty we see, to pass into it, to receive it into ourselves, to bathe in it, to become part of it.” I cannot think of a more beautiful way of describing beauty. Once again the lump begins to form. And yet, thinking on the reason for this strange preoccupation with the impossibility of embodying beauty, I am reminded of the beauty of God – the very reason I long to pass into beauty. For, every time I see or hear or feel beauty, I feel as if I receive a small glimpse of God, a tiny taste of what eternity will be like. Psalm 27:4 expresses my own deepest desire when it says, “One thing I have desired of the Lord, That will I seek: That I may dwell in the house of the Lord All the days of my life, To behold the beauty of the Lord, And to inquire in His temple.” To be able to behold the beauty of the Lord seems as nothing more than a dream. Yet the realization that one day I will see my Lord in His glory fills my body with such longing that I can hardly bear it. What will it be like I wonder to “worship the Lord in the beauty of His holiness” (Psalm 29:2), to see the strength and beauty in His sanctuary (Psalm 96:6)?

The Psalmist commands us to “tremble before Him, all the earth” (Psalm 96:9) as we worship Him in His beauty. However, I cannot help but feel as if trembling will be only one of the multitude of sensations at viewing Him as He is. My imagination fails me, but then I doubt that any earthly comparison could possibly convey the depths of emotions that we shall feel on viewing such magnificent beauty. Simply thinking on it makes me tremble. I can feel light seeping through the growing cracks in my longing heart. The thought of seeing God as He is is a desire beautiful in both its longing and apprehension. For, at this present time, I do not feel nearly beautiful enough to stand before my God. My soul contains blemishes, spots, and stains. How will I be able to stand before such beauty? And yet, my Lord is already beautifying my soul, making it more acceptable to stand before Him. In Psalm 149:4 it says, “For the Lord takes pleasure in His people; He will beautify the humble with salvation.” I can only hope and pray that the great Lord, Jehovah God, will continue His work within me, that one day the light of His beauty will finally replace my feeble beating heart, my feeble imitation of His glory. And so, as my heart pounds with drumbeats of renewed hope, longing, and resolve, I pray to, “let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us, And establish the work of our hands for us; Yes, establish the work of our hands” (Psalm 90:17).

~Sarah Stewart

Dear Father grant at slumbertime
Sweet rest amongst the leaves
And keep us as the sun descends
Beneath the lumb’ring trees.

Sweet rest afford our tired eyes
And keep us safe from harm.
As daylight fades are calmed our sighs
Beneath your shelt’ring arm.

Please wake us in the dawning day
Alive, athirst for you
And guide us to the water brooks
Where we may drink anew.

With such, O Lord, our God we’ll be
Immersed with hope, renewed.
If ever draw we to the springs
To sate our thirst for you.

“As the deer pants for the water brooks, so pants my soul for You, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God?” – Psalm 42:1-2

I wrote this poem after reading Psalm 42. It’s such a beautiful psalm with such moving imagery! I pictured the psalmist, his soul cast down within him (vs. 5), yet still able to say that “in the night His song shall be with me – a prayer to the God of my life.” (vs. 8) The longing in the psalmist’s desire to be with God seems so great, he wants God as much as a deer longs for water! I can learn a lot from this psalmist. After thinking about this psalm for a while, I did a little research on it. The sons of Korah are believed to be the authors however, some commentators think that David could have written it or more likely that the sons of Korah were remembering David’s flight from his son Absalom while writing it because of the parallels apparent. Whatever the reason for it being written, I feel that we can all relate somewhat to that psalmist; to his great despair, but also his great hope. Many times I think we can all say, “Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God: For I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God.”

~Sarah Stewart

O Lord, I trust in You
You are ever with me
Your hand guides me
You walk beside me
O Lord, I trust in You.

You made the blind see
You made the deaf hear
You make me to see and hear as well
O Lord, I trust in You.

You calmed the sea
You fed the multitudes
You calm and feed my soul as well
O Lord, I trust in You.

You healed the sick
You raised the dead
You heal and resurrect me as well
O Lord, I trust in You.

You prayed to God
You served others
You cause me to pray and serve as well
O Lord, I trust in You.

You taught nations
You were fearless
You teach me to discard fear as well
O Lord, I trust in You.

You suffered ridicule
You had compassion
You show me love for my enemies as well
O Lord, I trust in You.

You gave Your life for me
You were crucified
You died so that I might live as well
O Lord, I trust in You.

With such a God,
Who can stand against us?

With such a God,
What cause is there for fear?

With such a God,
Who can want for more?

For our God will save us,
Our God will keep us,
Our God will supply every need.

None can fear with a God like ours.
None can worry with our God here.
None can be dismayed with God at our side.

O Lord, I trust in You!

~Sarah Stewart

“Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You. In God (I will praise His word), In God I have put my trust; I will not fear. What can flesh do to me?”~Psalm 56:3-4

“Some trust in chariots, and some in horses; But we will remember the name of the Lord our God.” ~Psalm 20:7

“I will love You, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” ~Psalm 18:1-2

“Behold, God is my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid; For Yah, the Lord, is my strength and song; He also has become my salvation.” ~Isaiah 12:2

Adorned in linen
Her righteous deeds
Do clothe her glowing frame

Beloved and sought
Above all cherished
Her works declare His name

Forever blessed
Her price was paid
Bought by the One who came.

Knit together
And perfectly made
His love for her the same.

She is His bride,
His wife, His love
She wears His righteous name.

How blessed we are
As such, His bride
Our lives,
No more the same.

“Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has made herself ready. And to her it was granted to be arrayed in fine linen, clean and bright, for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints. Then he said to me, ‘Write: ‘Blessed are those who are called to the marriage supper of the Lamb!” And he said to me, ‘These are the true sayings of God.’”
~Rev. 19:7-9

“Then one of the seven angels who had the seven bowls filled with the seven last plagues came to me and talked with me, saying, ‘Come, I will show you the bride, the Lamb’s wife.’ And he carried me away in the Spirit to a great and high mountain, and showed me the great city, the holy Jerusalem, descending out of heaven from God, having the glory of God. Her light was like a most precious stone, like a jasper stone, clear as crystal.”
~Rev. 21:9-11

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.”
~Eph. 5:25-27

“…that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head – Christ – from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.”
~Eph. 4:14-16

“…you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, to an innumerable company of angels, to the general assembly and church of the firstborn who are registered in heaven, to God the Judge of all, to the spirits of just men made perfect, to Jesus the Mediator of the new covenant, and to the blood of sprinkling that speaks better things than that of Abel.”
~Heb. 12:22-24

I’ve been thinking some recently about the church, particularly about her relationship to Christ, and can’t imagine a more beautiful or meaningful way to think about this relationship than that which God has compared it to, a bride and her Bridegroom. As joint members of His body, the church, His bride, we are so incredibly blessed. To be “knit together” in love, to be able to do our share for “the growth of the body”, to help clothe the bride in the “righteous acts of the saints” is truly amazing. What great responsibility we have as such! And so, as one of the hymns we sing states, “For Christ and the church let us cast aside by His conquering grace chains of self, fear, and pride. Let us work with a will in the strength of youth and earnestly stand for the Kingdom of truth. For Christ, our dear redeemer. For Christ, the crucified. For the church, His blood hath purchased, the church His holy bride.”

p.s. The poem’s very rough, it was written while taking notes about political campaigns. haha So any advice or criticism anyone might have to make it better is very much appreciated!

~Sarah

Your face, oh Lord, I long to see.
When shall I in Thy glory be?
To speak with Thee, to see Thy face,
Joy in Thy likeness be my place!

Yet now I blush, my sins are found
I bow my head, face to the ground.
My sins have hid Your face from me.
Oh turn dear God, this is my plea.

As Moses knew Thee, long I to.
Be Thou my Friend, Thy will I do.
Yet more than him I long to see,
Turn not Your back, yet face to me.

I seek Thee Lord as David did,
My heart’s deep famine cans’t be hid.
Upright in life I strive to be
Oh Light Eternal, shine on me.

Yet more than Moses, David too,
I live my life, my face to You.
For in a mirror was all seen,
Yet face to face I view my King.

In light and truth we view the word.
The good news is our sharpened sword.
Yet long we still His face to see,
To praise the Word, His Majesty.

So press I ever to Your throne,
I serve Thee now, Thy seeds are sown.
Till last Thy name on my head be,
Thy face I see, in victory!

Ex. 33:11 – Thus the LORD used to speak to Moses face to face, just as a man speaks to his friend

2 Sam. 21:1 – Now there was a famine in the days of David for three years, year after year. And David sought the face of the LORD.

2 Chron. 30:9 – “For if you return to the LORD, your brothers and your sons will find compassion before those who led them captive and will return to this land. For the LORD your God is gracious and compassionate, and will not turn His face away from you if you return to Him.”

Ezra 9:6 – “O my God, I am ashamed and blush to lift my face to you, my God, for our iniquities have risen higher than our heads, and our guilt has mounted up to the heavens.

Psalm 11:7 – For the LORD is righteous; he loves righteous deeds; the upright shall behold his face.

Psalm 17:15 – As for me, I will see Your face in righteousness; I shall be satisfied when I awake in Your likeness.

Psalm 80:19 – O LORD God of hosts, restore us; Cause Your face to shine upon us, and we will be saved.

Psalm 119:135 – Make Your face shine upon Your servant, And teach me Your statutes.

1 Corinthians 13:12 – For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known.

1 Peter 3:12 – For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.

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There are so many more wonderful verses yet I will refrain from making this note longer than it already is! Won’t it be wonderful to at last see the face of our Lord?! As always, if you would like to be tagged in these notes just let me know. And, as is ever the case, please feel free to criticize. I know that I use the word “yet” too much in the above poem but can’t seem to get it to work out any other way. Thoughts and help are always wonderful!

I’ll end this note with the blessing used to bless the children of Israel. It ties in so wonderfully with the whole theme of this! My friends, God is so good and His promises are truly wonderful! One day, His face we shall see! What an incredibly humbling and awe-inspiring thought! To Him be all the glory!

“The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.” – Num. 6:25

         That being said, I’m not sure who would enjoy reading these and wouldn’t want to leave anyone out who would like to be tagged. So if you would like to be tagged, let me know and I’ll tag you in these little scribblings of mine . As always, criticism is sought and encouraged. I love it when people help to better my writing!